Sunday, July 30, 2006

what kind of saddle are you riding?

Playing a little follow the links I've found some hilarious cycling related internettin'. By far the funniest is Dave Zabriskie's podcasts. He doesn't post frequently but when he does the wait is sweet. The last one takes on some beat style prose recalling his experience in the EuroPuerto. Before that was a conversation w/ Tom Boonen on where cyclists go when they die. His voice is dreamy. I like DZ.

From there I clicked on MissingSaddle. They host DZ nutscast as well as a bunch of other pro rider's blogs. What kept me crying though are the video interviews. Skiles Keith reminds me of Stiffler. I'm pretty sure that it's Stiffler, but it may be another movie character I'm thinking of, but I'm pretty sure it's Stiffler. Everybody is pretty cool w/ his questions since most of them know him, but Tom Danielson looks terrified of his interview. My favorite question Skiles seems to ask everyone is, "What kind of saddle are you riding?", which is closely followed by "What kind of rubber you running?" The question comes from left field so it makes it hilarious when he blurts it out. He likes talking about product which kinda throws you off; it's not what you normally hear an interviewer focus on. Unless of course you're Frankie Andreau w/ OLN's Tech Special Reports...

If you haven't checked it out yet, Broadband Racer has some rider video blogs that truly give some insight to a racing lifestyle. The rider intro music is bumpin' too!

With everyone and their mothers doing a blog now (me too) the OG of them all would be Drunk Cyclist. I can't remember when he started, but his archives go back to 2000. And yes, it is still powered by the clean and efficient fuel source of porn. 3 a day baby!

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Saturday, July 29, 2006

it's not you, it's me. i just don't want to get hurt...

I keep attempting to write further on the Landis affair but every time I start to search for words I simply lose interest. I guess I don't want to have too much more invested when we discover that he is in fact a dic... sorry, a doper.

But as w/ every case, there is a grassy knoll! I found a blurb on Cadence Cycling's site regarding the ratio measurement. It's interesting:
Cadence owners Matt Heitmann and Brian Walton were interviewed on
today's edition of the Fox News Morning Show whereupon they revealed
some new information gleaned from investigations conducted on Cadence's
behalf yesterday.

learned through an endocrinologist yesterday that Floyd Landis' T/E
ratio (testosterone:epitestosterone) was abnormally high but only
because his epitestosterone levels were abnormally low.

A low
epitestosterone level can be accounted for (in many cases) by the use
of anti-inflammatories like Celebrex, and certainly by Cortison, and
alcohol. All three of these substances Floyd has admitted to taking
during this year's Tour de France.

In short, the A sample that came back above UCI legal T/E level of 4:1 is, in this case, not due to inflated testosterone,
but due to deflated epitestosterone. The deflated epitestosterone
levels may be accounted for by legal and approved substances which
Floyd has been taking this year.

My other feeling is that Testosterone isn't something you take the night before or the day of so you can ride better. It helps you build muscles over a long period of time. We're talking weeks here, long enough for it to have shown up during the doping controls he had earlier in the Tour. Being that taking it's not a drug that cycling generally takes to cheat w/ immediate results, it brings a lot into a question. So here's hoping that he's one of those that truly has a weird physiology producing all this naturally.

Like I said, not too invested.

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Thursday, July 27, 2006

weeee, here we go again!

Ah the speculation of the Euro media.  I'd hate to see the legal system if these guys were in charge!
Here's where we are:
-1 Tour rider positive.  Riders name w/held for obvious reasons. The team and the rider have been notified, and are waiting the outcome of the B sample.  This is all we know that's TRUE.
Speculation SAYS (Family Feud voice):
-The Times reports it's testosterone while La Gazzetta dello Sport says it was stimulant.
-through the the use of a digital abacus and the fact that tests usually take a week to come back, it's been calculated that the positve result was given during the final week of the race.
-The Times makes it to be Stage 17 making the riders tested to be Floyd Landis (stage winner), Oscar Pererio (Yellow Jersey), and a random rider.
-La Gazzetta says it was later, but that it was involving a rider "high up in the classification".
-what makes this more fun is that Floyd has been cancelling all his post-tour races that are traditional for the winner to attend usually for huge sums of money.
-further feeding the fire is that there hasn't been any comment from the Phonak camp.

As I've been typing this just confirmed it was courtesy of our New American Hero!  How wonderful.  Maybe he could blame it on the dead twin doppleganger scenario...  I guess our hope are that it's an "unusual level" of  testosterone.  Not sure what testosterone for a single stage would do for you.  If he was using it for strength building that would have been best used before the Tour, but what do I know.  I also say that simply because  he was the Yellow jersey on several occasions, and didn't test then.  Probably used a good masking agent.  Pedro Delgado won the Tour in '88 after testing postive for a masking agent that wasn't on the banned list.  I guess he picked the right drug.  If Floyd turns out to be a cheater, he's just another ass in a long line of jerkoffs screwing w/ our sport. 

I'm getting closer to making the next Discovery Tour team!  There's going to be no one left!  I'll gladly be packmeat.

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Monday, July 24, 2006

point of reference?

I've been frequenting the Eurosport website to satisfy my voracious appetite for Le Tour and it's been refreshing to see things from a different point of view.  Plus the site had some of the best looking race calling online out of anyone.

The point of this post is a poll that they had today.  Asking the question whether or not Floyd is a worthy champion the results were resounding to the positive: 70% saying that he was.  The nay statement said that "2006 was a Tour without the favorites".  So my question is: in light of all that has come out from OP, who was a favorite?  How can you consider Basso a favorite, if his form and wins were courtesy of the good doctor?  Was Jan ever the hard luck champion that we all loved him for being? 

To me, they weren't the favorites from a sporting view.  The favorites won the Tour, cracked spectacularly, fought for stage glory after losing touch w/ the GC, and they finished the race.  The pretenders got what they deserved.  I'm sure in the coming days as all the deals of OP are revealed we'll find a few bitches that slipped through the cracks like the roaches they are that still rode the race.  Then they'll get what they deserve as well.

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something's not working.

I'm a little confused.  It seems as though there isn't any cycling on my television this morning.  I'm not sure that I understand. 

What's a Banjo Minnow?

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Sunday, July 23, 2006

one on the side.

I've got a bunch of things I need to do to my Trek, so I broke out the other. I gots me a 2001 Giant TCR2 to spice things up. This was my first true road bike, considering my first 700c bike was a track bike. Profile of that one to follow soon. Giant is who you'd either blame or thank for the Compact Frame Geometry. True compact geometry shortens the rear stays jamming the wheel up against the seat tube, hence the dimple in the tube to accommodate it. Then there's the obvious sloping top tube helping to create smaller triangles for the front and rear. It would simply look stupid to have a horizontal TT w/ a short rear triangle plus it wouldn't be rigid enough. Until just in the last few years there were only 3 sizes (s,m,l) for the Giants. Others were doing more sizes, most notably Specialized.

The problem besides not enough sizes is that to accommodate a broad range of rider heights weird things have to happen. For the smaller rider you have to shorten the head tube so it's not sitting them up too high and the top tube has to be lengthened for the taller rider so they're too compacted. Right away you can see what's going on. Too long for the shorties, and too low a front for the freaky tall boys (and girls). So for me I had to turn my stem up so I wouldn't be leaning over too much. I HATE stems in this position because they look corny, then again I am a ridiculous and petty fashionista. But I have some back issues that I'm still working on so this is how it's gots to be. Oh, you also need a damn long seatpost 350mm+ for this fit to work.
A shorter wheelbase from the rear stay give it nervous handling in comparison to my longish Trek. It's more like a race car that needs your full attention otherwise you'll end up in the wall. Yet if you know how to take it deep into turns it shines. Very quick.

Das goot stuff!
Aluminum frame is the harshest material made that much more harsh by shortened stays and smaller triangles. BUT, since there is no room for the bike to wiggle while sprinting or climbing, it is an absolute ROCKET! You launch up hills! Still got the stock fork which I think is pretty dope. Straight, strong, and unforgiving for carbon. Tracks on rails beyatch!

Wheels are a mix of Mavic Ksyrium Elite and SSL. You already know I pulled the spokes through my rear SSL. Tires are probably the most interesting thing on the bike. I'm using the Czech made TUFO tubular clinchers. I'll write more about these soon, but they are the bomb believe me.

I'm still using some of the original parts from when I first purchased it. 105 for the shifters and the front derailleur. Shifting action on the 105s are a little harsh in that it takes a little more effort to click it, but when matched to a DuraAce rear mech, shifting is dead accurate. So no worries mate! At this point I honestly don't care about not having top end shifters and playing that on-up game. I'm just happy that things work. I can't go below 105 though; there's way too much of a drop off in quality to Tiagra. Too much damn plastic. Brakes are 105 w/ Kool Stop pads; super sticky.

Cockpit is Bontrager RaceLite bars, Bontrager Race TripleXXXLite stem, and Stella Azzurra tape. I had this vision of a team bike that was sponsored by Bontrager. I like the stuff regardless of what I've written before, but I couldn't possible have that on my Trek. It looks too much like the stock crap I sold to all the wads who wanted Lance's bike. At the time Webcor was riding Lemonds w/ XXXLite components, and they looked pretty dope. I'm impressionable.

Seatpost is again XXXLite, carbon w/ a slight setback. The saddle is the new Specialized Toupe which I'm a little mixed about. It's very light, it uses their nice Body Geometry tech to keep your goods fresh, but it's not the greatest for long 3+ hour rides. I've ridden it a good bit so it's not that I have to get used to it. I'll hold judgment for now. It looks wicked though.

Cranks are FSA Energy. Not carbon, but not the ugly ass 105s either. Black and yellow baby! Pedals are Time RSX. Still so nice. I'm using Bontrager's BatCages which hold bottles. Go figure.

Not my distance bike, but me love it long time! Sorry about the picture, the camera on my phone is dying.

he's such a good boy!

Watching Chris Horner bust his ass in the break on the Champs Elysees in his second consecutive Tour I can't help but to think of how far he's come. He was a teammate of Floyd Landis on the Mercury Cycling Team during its torrid existence. Before that he cut his teeth w/ Francaise des Jeux, but that unfortunately didn't go according to plan. After 3 hard learned seasons he was back in the States where he began his domination of the US racing scene.

I got to meet him when he was riding for Prime Alliance. The team was in town for the Clarendon Cup known now as the CSC Invitational. They stopped by my shop after a training ride and not everyone was happy to be there. But Chris was cool, talking to everyone as he signed everything thrown at him. I got a chance to talk w/ all of them during a lull in the madness and once again he was the happy to oblige. He even maintained his cool as some of the Saturn Team riders strolled in for their session and started a little good natured shit talking. I can't remember if it was Tim Johnson that started it but one of the PA guys shut 'em all down saying something about having Playstation on the team bus. Funny enough Chris transferred to Saturn the next year where he really killed it.

Now he's back in Europe and killing it again. I'm sure that it gives many of the racers in the U.S. a huge boost as Chris didn't win everything, so if they want to make the jump they'll feel better about their chances. He was always the hardest working and it's awesome seeing him back at the top level of the sport and producing results. He's definitely not pack fodder anymore!

You should check out his video blogs on VeloNews. If you want to hear the insight of what was going down at the Tour these clips and much of the others are ripe w/ tasty tidbits.

Sorry for the picture Chris, but I'm not sure how many know of your look early in this century and I felt it was my duty!

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Saturday, July 22, 2006

i'm so clever.

I realize that as a cycling addicted blogger I should post about Floyd's great time trial ride, and that he's taken the yellow jersey on the penultimate day of the Tour De France virtually sealing the deal for the overall GC win making him the 3rd American to win the race as well as extending our dominance to a whopping 8 years running...

I should, but I'm not.

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who's got time to ride when there's racin' on!

I've written before how I like to use my wild imagination to spur my rides on by visualizing myself as another rider, or during a particular race. Today's ride was no different, unfortunately for me I picked Floyd Landis on the climb to La Toussuiere! I'm guessing I owe my case of the bad forms to my intake of Maryland's finest: Crabs at Hooper's in O.C.! Went downey oweshin yesturdee Hon! I guess that you don't get too much energy simply from several pounds of backfin and fatty entrails (how dey eatum downair Millriver, Balmer Canny).

Anyway regardless of my food choices yestur...yesterday, I still wanted to keep my average speed up around the 16mph mark for most of the ride. I still warm up for at least 30 minutes and I still have that bitch of a hill at the end so I have to deal w/ those times messing w/ my final numbers, but for the rest of the ride I try to keep it moving.

There were some fast people out today, so I was getting my caloric intake mostly from eating emasculation pie. It was however a friendly ride, and not too many wads or jerkoffs to deal with. My route was normal: out towards Mt. Vernon but not all the way. Turnaround back through the neighborhood route, back onto the trail, then onto Hains Point for a couple of laps. I felt like I was in difficulty for much of the ride and kept wondering why I was riding at this pace, but I was able to maintain a reasonable tempo. That was about it.

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Friday, July 21, 2006

tour is good.

Regardless of how this stage ends after Floyd's attack, this race is what was needed after the stagnant domination of Lance.  Don't get me wrong, I love that Armstrong destroyed everyone for 7 years, but watching tapes of past Tours, you get nostalgic for the heady days of the wide open races.  Heh, I said "heady".

This is more like when Jan won the Tour in '97.  When he rode to Arcalis you got swept up in the euphoria of the moment as you witnessed both the fall the old, and the rise of the new.  Of course Jan has had his issues from then on, but it still was an awesome display.  Before Jan you'd have to go back to the 1990 Tour when Greg Lemond had to climb, claw, and scratch his way back to Claudio Chiappucci.  Chiappucci did it again in the '92 Tour much to the chagrin of Miguel Indurain.  This is what the retro-grouches have been bitching about during the Lance years.  Lance changed the way the race was, well, raced.  Having the strongest team ride everyone off their wheels was very effective to win the Tour, but it was also BORING!!!  The last time that you saw Lance truly ride HIS race was in 2001.  In 2002 he had Roberto "Me Gusta Drogar" Heras do his dirty work for him.  When you first saw it, you got excited because you knew Lance was going to win again.  Little did we know that was to be the M.O. for following years.  No wonder the French were so pissed.

Floyd is about to start the decent (f-ing ridiculous at the end of a climb like this) w/ Sastre following.  DUDE!  Floyd's wife is a hottie!  No, back to her, Floyd isn't a pretty man.  He's sweaty and stinky too.  Sastre crests at 5:36 I think.  That's huge!  Floyd still has a chance to get back time in the TT.  Damiano Cunego is really looking good at the end of some terrible mountains.  He is definitely going to be back for this race.  His stock should go back up after Basso started working in the pharmaceutical business.

I love how a "false flat" in the mountains, is the same as the big hills in my area.  Good god Floyds going fast!  You using a ton of energy just to hold onto the brakes.

Floyds coming into the final straight and the crowd is going NUTS!  Awesome win!  Screw you France, I'm going home!  They were talking shit about Floyd and his lack of panache during his time in the mellow johnny.  You got some panache now froggies!

Oh, Moreau and Dessel crashed on the decent!  Nasty fall.  Dessel could've broken his forks as he hit the barrier blocks.  He got back on the bike quickly w/out checking. 

Floyd put in MORE time on Sastre on the decent!  That's a bad, bad man!  5:42 on the line!  Floyd is back into the race!  Should be at least third.  Amber Landis so happy!  She cry joyous tears!

The times are all compacted now.  Haven't seen the finals yet...

Unless Oscar gets a good transfusion before the TT Floyd should be able to put some time into him and Sastre.  Hey, I just kidding!  I kid because I love!

30 seconds off the race lead!  He put 45 seconds on everyone in the first TT, and that was with a bike and postion change!  Unbelievable!

"I came here to win the race and I'm not done fighting yet!"  Floyd is here to go all the way.  Frankie Andreu asks some shaky, redundant questions sometimes.  I'm suprised Floyd hasn't hit him yet.

Everybody is applauding him in the podium staging area.  Oscar gives him a nice sweaty man-hug!

Hey even Hinault gives Floyd some applause as he steps onto the podium.  The Badger approves!

I'm done here.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

good god I love this mountain!!

Alpe Du Huez is out of control!  The race absolutely is exploding: Frank Schleck just destroyed Damiano Cunego, Floyd and Andreas are cooking up the slopes, Rasmussen came out of nowhere to help Menchov, and Evans has been dropped.  The crowd makes this stage insane.

Schleck just won the stage, a first for a Luxembourger!  I guess that Charlie Gaul didn't get the chance to fly in his day.
Frank made a very strange face for his victory salute...
Cunego is only 25, already has a Giro overall win under his belt, and nothing but a strong future to look forward to.
Landis is sprinting, but Garzelli takes it in front of Floyd.
Not bad for Garzelli considering he was alone several hours ago after the first mountain pass.
Now we wait for Oscar Pereiro to show.
Levi just peeked around the corner.
Frank is starting to weep as the sweet realization of an epic Tour win floods into his thoughts!
Floyd is back in yellow as the Spaniard comes in a few seconds shy of keeping the jersey.
Dessel had a great ride after dropping his chain at the beginning of the climb.
Here comes big George and Popo w/ the champion of Holland, Michael Boogard.
Popo looks a little shattered after that ride.

This is why the Tour is as grand as it is.  When the stage ramps up at the start of the climb I start to get chills.  It more than makes up for the ridiculous amount of sprint stages at the beginning.  That was nearly as fun as when Lance gave Jan "the look".  I love it when the stage feels completely out of control, when everything is in flux every moment of every switchback of the climb.  Add the amped, drunken crowds from all over the world and it feels like a World Cup final win from the bottom to the top!

Sunday, July 16, 2006

some new things cookin'

I've had some things brewing on the backburner for awhile, but methinks it's time to start acting on them. I don't want to say what they are, but needless to say I'm going to try to take all this up a notch! Or not, but it sounds better to make like I am. I've got a lot of prep work to do, in addition to all my work on my art portal/resume site Artboredom, as well as maintain my fine cycling form through the rest of the stages ahead.

I am going to start something today; something that pops into my head at least 5+ times a ride: "I love it when..." It may start other ways like, "It kills me when...", but mostly it'll be love, sweet love. Sometimes it will be true love, but most times it will be straight sarcastic love!

Let's give it a try.

I love it when I'm cruising around a corner (on the far right) as a shaky oncoming hybrid rider approaches clearly on my side of the path, but still gives me the death stare because it's obvious I'm going too fast (I wasn't) due to my appearance (pro kit), not because they suck at riding a bike...

I'm going to get shot for the run on sentence, but I think that'll be the format for my rancor. Or love!

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Discovery Channel wins the Tour!

After the past 2 days in the mountains it's nice to hear that some of the Disco boys are doing okay.  Tom Danielson won his first Euro-race, the Tour of Austria!   He didn't win a stage, although coming close on one but succumbing to cramps (finishing second) and managing to add a good ITT to finish 16 seconds ahead of the next Euro-dude.  Another youngster on the team, Jurgen Van Goolen finished the Tour in the top 10 coming in 9th.

Good job T-Dan!

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Wednesday, July 12, 2006

diversion from the tour

All of us have had altercations w/ the driving public and depending on where you're riding, some more than others.  We've all had that moment of rage as someone speeds up just to make a right-hand turn directly in front of you.  They put your safety in jeopardy just so they wouldn't have to slow down for a couple of seconds; ooh the agony of deceleration!  This happened to me the other day and it brought to mind a couple of scenarios I've heard or read about, and at least one that I've participated in.

I'm just in the minor leagues w/ the Krypto New York lock to the side mirror, but it was satisfying.  Cabbies in DC do not like couriers, and if you're unlucky to be riding a bike in the city you are lumped into that mould.  I had lots of messenger friends at that time and I would always hear stories about them getting hit, run off the road, and simply abused out on the road.  You'd also hear how they got back.  After a series of attempts to put me into the back of some parked cars along Mass. Ave I finally got the opportune moment: a long light, a back up, and one-way streets for the getaway.  As I rolled up the middle between the two lanes I reached back to the lock I had tucked into my belt and as I was passing by his car, I swung.  I didn't take the mirror off the car, but needless to say w/ it hanging from where it was situated before he wouldn't be using it again!  There was no way for him to come after me, but I still took the one-way to further complicate things for him.

I read in a letter to a magazine once about a northern commuter that was out on a bad snow day.  Someone thought that this was a bad idea and thought it was a good idea to teach him a lesson by running him off the road into a ditch.  The cyclist caught up w/ the driver down the road at a light because the conditions were bad and definitely slow going.  He rolled up beside him and as the driver was berating and threatening him, the rider reached over, pulled up on the windshield wiper and tore it off!  Beautiful.  In the middle of a blinding snowstorm w/ no windshield wipers!

The next one is the king.  I worked w/ a guy who did courier work in DC for years and had plenty of run-ins w/ people, but this was genius.  He formulated a sick plan after continuously battling the morning Hill commuters while he was working and them getting the upper hand.  He filled a water bottle w/ his own urine after a hard night of partying.  You know the kind: toxic, colorful, and definitely not something you want anywhere other than the toilet.  So during the ride in the morning, damned if someone didn't start some shit w/ him.  So when he had a chance at a light, he rolled up, and while the dude's window was open he unloaded the entire bottle onto him, his suit and the interior of his Mercedes!  Like I said, the KING!

I definitely don't recommend retaliation of any kind since people are crazy and you'll never know what they're capable of.  You're on a bike, they're in a one ton+ car and that hurts; trust me I know.  You'll notice that in all the scenarios there was a defined getaway, or they were in a clear position to have the upper hand in traffic.  But it's nice to hear that sometimes we're able to get them back sometimes.

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Sunday, July 09, 2006

this Tour tastes weird.

i like big TT's!
There's nothing like a day long TT fest to get your heart a pumpin'! Unless all your favorites ride like the USA World Cup team plays soccer. I'm sorry about B-Jul, but for crying out loud, scout the course beforehand! You shouldn't be crashing like that, that soon, and on dry pavement. But that's why they're called accidents.

I'm going to play the glass half-full and say that Johan told everyone to shut it down a bit and let some other teams/riders take over for the big GC pull. Mick Rogers and the Praying Landis were high on the list so if either of those guys get a good time they'll end up in the Mellow Johnny thereby taking over at the head of the race. We've all seen what that's done to Boonen. They'll blow themselves out trying to control the head of the race allowing the Disco boys to end up fresh for the mountains. Unfortunately, I think that the glass is half empty, and the Great 7X Motivator isn't at the reigns spurring the horses on. I think they all cracked. That being said it's pretty odd that ALL of them cracked pretty spectacularly, so we'll see when the race really starts.

break finally stuck.
nice to see the French are getting some wins and we don't have to hear all the whining about them sucking it up. Really cool that Sylvain Calzati took his first win ever at the Tour. I couldn't even imagine what that feels like. That's why I love this race.

Floyd still looking good.
you can keep saying it, but if you actually listen to yourself it simply sounds weird to say Floyd Landis has a real chance to win the Tour. It only seems like yesterday when we started to really hear about him through his riding w/ the Postal team, and that he's a Quaker or Amish or something... But listening to the Flying Mennonite talk to reporters on the VeloNews video player he seems completely unstressed and very strong. I'm very impressed in how he's conducting himself during this race.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

sprint, sprint, sprint, all Tour long...

Getting to the point, I'm starting to hate sprints. Ever since Cipo ceased being the spectacle he was at the Tour I honestly don't care about the sprints. The Valkenburg finish was dope, but that's about it. But tell me this, why can't they have the finish at the top of the climb, and not a mile down the damn road?

Which leads me to my next observation: where are all the damn mountain finishes? I can't remember the count, but it seems that there are only 2-3 total for the race. This is just stupid. No wonder that the Giro is picking up in popularity, it's actually interesting. Go figure.

But I can't complain about the coverage. OLN gots the lockdown w/ P+P giving the call, and I'm warming to Al Trautwig since listening to the ABC commentary of Lemond's '86 win when I'm pretty sure I heard his voice. He's been around for a while, but I didn't realize how long. Plus he's starting to get it. His stage picks for the jersey comp w/ the guys are actually thought out. Add in's coverage, as well as my new find The Broadband Racer. They don't have the rights to show more than 3 minutes of footage, but they're getting some interviews of different people other than the usual suspects. My favorite sections are actually the video blogs. I'm very interested in all the behind the scenes shizzo that goes on w/ pro racing. It just seems more accessable than just the race all the time. That's why I loved the Lance Chronicles. I still can't believe they haven't put that out in some form to download or buy.

Anyway, Boonen looks like he's not doping and more favorites are doing the American contingent a favor by crashing out. I'm sorry for Valverde, and especially for Fast Freddie. It's all still bike racing, and that's all good, so I'll keep watching the repeats, I mean the sprints!

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

it's on backwards you douche!

what the SNELL are you talking about?
This is one of those posts I've always been threatening to write, but never remember after my rides. I'm amazed by the amount of people riding helmets that are either the wrong size, worn wrong, or way too old. Nevermind those that aren't wearing anything. Those guys are depending on the blood-matted hair protection plan.
I can see how that the retention device on helmets should be covering the eyes while riding. That makes total sense. I used to love helping beautiful women at the shop try on helmets watching in horror as they fail the IQ test in miserable fashion. "Does it go on this way?" "Uhhh, yeah. And the zipper on your pants is for your pooper..." The same goes for the tough guys as well.

At least most of those people are using helmets purchased in the last 10 years. My favorite are those who think that Bell eggshell helmet w/ 4 holes they bought back in the 70's is actually going to protect them. Plus, if your helmet comes w/ a nylon cover, and that cover comes complete w/ the colors purple and neon green, you may need a new helmet. I've thought of plenty of funny things to say regarding all these idiots, but I never remember them after the ride.

Simply put, polystyrene will begin to lose its integrity after 5 years. We got ahold of a customer's 6 year old helmet after he purchased a new one and decided to take a hammer to it just to see. It's a bunch of guys in a bike shop full of tools; what else what you'd expect? Needless to say the helmet DISENTEGRATED into dust! You'd get more protection from a wool hat!

Good helmets start at $30 these days, and they have the same protection as the $200 pro versions, and in many cases they share much of the same technology. The more expensive helmets have much more airflow, and are generally lighter and much better fitting. Cheaper helmets are usually universal fit, which means it's good enough for everyone but not great for you. If you're into cycling fashion, you'd be hard pressed to find a decent helmet under $100 unless it's on clearance. Remember, all helmets sold in the States need to have certification. They have to have a CPSC, ANSI, or SNELL sticker on the inside. They should also have a "born on" date to let you know how long of a life you and your new purchase have together.

If any of you out there think that "it won't happen to me", cool. See how long your significant other sticks around when they have to feed you through a straw and push you around in a stroller for the rest of your life. If you don't make it, then Darwin was right!

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